“You don’t make your enemy wrong by becoming like them.” — Thich Nhat Hanh
Let’s be real, babes: being LGBTQ+ in a world that still thinks “love is love” is up for debate? Exhausting. From the side-eye at family dinners to trolls on Twitter, from lawmakers playing dress-up with our rights to flat-out violence—this world knows how to pile it on. And when the weight stacks up? Oh, honey, it turns into fire.
And let’s admit it: anger feels deliciously justified. Sometimes it even feels like power. But left unchecked? Anger isn’t serving you cocktails at the afterparty—it’s setting the house on fire while you’re still inside.
The Slow Burn: Who’s Really Getting Burned?
Here’s the gag: anger feels like armor, but it’s really acid. You think it’s protecting you, but it’s eating through you first. Buddhism calls this out plain and simple: hatred isn’t power—it’s suffering in drag.
As queer folks, our anger is valid. Hell yes, we get to name it, feel it, honor it. But when it hardens into resentment? That’s when it turns from protest to poison, and suddenly we’re the ones getting scorched.
✨ Truth Bomb: Anger can be righteous fuel, but it was never meant to be a forever home.
Letting Go ≠ Letting It Slide
Now, don’t get it twisted. Buddhism doesn’t say, “Smile pretty and ignore the bigotry.” Please. It’s not about being doormats in rainbow sequins.
It’s about seeing clearly. Naming the harm without drowning in it. Choosing response over reaction. That’s what the Buddhists call upaya—skillful means. It’s using compassion and wisdom like tools from your queer survival kit, instead of going full scorched-earth mode.
✨ Mantra: Letting go doesn’t mean it’s okay. It means you’re not renting space in your soul to hate.
Acceptance Is Not Approval—It’s Liberation
Acceptance gets a bad rap. People hear it and think it means giving up, rolling over, or saying “thank you” for injustice. Nope.
Acceptance says: “This happened. It sucked. I see it for what it is. Now what?” That “now what” is the key—it opens the door to freedom, not resignation.
Through mindfulness, we pause just long enough to let anger cool from wildfire to candle flame. And in that flame? There’s clarity, choice, and actual strength.
Ahimsa: The Queer Counterattack
Ahimsa—non-harming—is one of those Buddhist power moves. And no, it doesn’t mean you shut up or play nice. It means you speak your truth without lowering yourself to their chaos.
To fight back with peace isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom in heels. The Dalai Lama said it best: “Our enemies provide us with the opportunity to practice patience and tolerance.” (And you know he was serving that with shade.)
✨ Takeaway: Revenge is temporary. Integrity lasts longer than any headline.
A Daily Practice for When Anger Pops Off
Next time someone tests your peace, try this queer dharma five-step:
- Release — Let go, not for them, but for your gorgeous mental health.
- Pause — Feel it. Name it: “This is anger.”
- Breathe — Deep breaths are nature’s reset button.
- Reflect — Ask: “Does this reaction align with who I want to be?”
- Respond — Step back into the world with wisdom, not wounds.
Because Your Peace Is Sacred
Anger feels like honoring our pain. But actually? Healing is the fiercest form of justice. Letting go doesn’t erase the harm—it keeps it from writing your story for you.
To my queer fam: your anger is valid, but your peace? Honey, that’s sacred. You don’t have to carry the harm to prove it mattered. You deserve joy. You deserve lightness. You deserve a life not weighed down by hate you didn’t create.
And when the world gets too loud? Try on my favorite petty little mantra:
💅 “I was not paid that much to suffer in the anger like this.”
Say it in the mirror. Whisper it when your boss misgenders you. Shout it in traffic if you have to. Because your peace is priceless. And darling—your energy is way too fabulous to waste on what doesn’t grow you.
So step out of the fire, breathe, and walk your truth. Not because the world deserves your peace—but because you do.
